Welcome back! In today’s episode, I delve into lessons I’ve learned from one of my favorite teachers and approaches ~ Gabor Maté and Compassionate Inquiry. 

I explore his method as a facilitator, the importance of gaining consent, his views on addiction as attempts to solve suffering, and authenticity versus attachment. Reflecting on his teachings, I discuss the impact of the “still-face experiment” and how connection to self is crucial in our healing journeys. I’ll also share insights on over-functioning as a coping mechanism and Gabor’s perspective on thriving in a sick world. Join me as we reconnect with ourselves and each other.

00:00 Introduction to Gabor Maté and Compassionate Inquiry

00:45 Facilitation Techniques and Interruptions

02:37 The Role of Consent in Facilitation

03:07 Understanding Addiction and Suffering

06:56 The Still Face Experiment

10:23 Authenticity vs. Attachment

18:01 Overfunctioning and Coping Mechanisms

20:46 The Impact of a Sick World on Emotional Health

22:45 Present Moment Awareness and Self-Connection

The Still Face Experiment: https://youtu.be/YTTSXc6sARg?si=9a1-oDJfE69BESL-

Gabor Maté Website: https://drgabormate.com/

The Myth Of Normal: https://amzn.to/3zoVdmc

Compassionate Inquiry: https://compassionateinquiry.com/

* Visit: Website: /

* Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison /coachingwallison/

* Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview /ifs/

* Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

/unarmoredthebook/

https://www.tiktok.com/@allison_crow

https://www.instagram.com/allison_crow/

https://www.facebook.com/wildesgesofbeinghuman

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There is an OBVIOUS inflamed and injured nervous system state – with an obvious acute injury. We can see and soften when the injury is obvious. Oh wow!! Your arm got sliced off. That’s gonna take some time to heal- and we can conjure compassion for the obvious wound.

 

MANY of the people I come to work with have a chronically inflamed and overstimulated nervous system. Years of inner wounds and pain build up. Imagine a really severe sunburn from the inside that you can’t see. Even the slightest touch or poke can cause seemingly extreme reactions and outbursts- and then, because we have an extreme reaction that doesn’t seem to make sense- we pile on the self-shame – adding to the injury.

 

Burns take time to heal.

 

There is NO cognitive solution when our insides are severely raw from decades of coping mechanisms that look good on the outside but are wound on the inside.

Soft, space, slow, decompression, and regulation—this is what needs to happen, but we have overstimulating everyday life to attend to. It’s not easy. Our coping skills are applauded and rewarded—there is no 12-step program or rehab for them. So we have to, in our injured and inflamed state, find just a tiny anchor of somatic respite and softness and nurture that as often as we can.

 

Slow.

Soft.

Space.

 

Even the tiniest bit to start.

 

And having a soft person to support you helps tremendously.

 

It can take time. It’s not done in an insight. It’s done in the safety built over time.

 

The world can be hard… even the everyday subtleties…. Can wear us thin.

 

I’ve got you.

We won’t be in this phase forever. The new ways of being will come- but for now- slow and soft is fast.

The post We Can’t Learn When We Are In A Reactive State appeared first on Allison Crow.

The more I meet myself (and my parts), the less I want to punch other people in the face.

 

Most of us are conditioned to despise, fear, and suppress “negative emotions.” I don’t believe that any emotions are negative. I believe they have wisdom and information for us. I believe there are cognitive and body skills we can learn to understand and lead our emotions instead of them leading us.

 

There will be no more erupting and no more pressing down (depression). Emotional self-leadership and the language of emotions can be learned and practiced.

Most people are taught that emotions don’t belong at work. Mental health, anxiety, & stress much What if these parts could be softened and compassionately led into relaxing & sharing their wisdom, leading to calm and creative confidence and courage?

 

This is the advanced personal development I do with business owners, executives, and leaders .  If you would like to explore coaching, find out more here: /coachingwallison/

 

I also wrote about this in my book #Unarmored –Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

#lifecoachingforentrepreneurs #ifscoaching #leadershipdevelopment #leadershipcoaching

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I’m just going to allow myself to be imperfect in getting back into the routine

I love creating content for y’all 
I’ve always loved creating content for y’all
and I’ve had some procrastination parts come up lately

I had all these plans and was taking no action – Highly unusual for me. 

After a couple of weeks of this procrastination, I sat down to do my parts work practices as I normally do, and my shoulders were aching
and I decided to see if it was a part.

 I slowed down and connected with myself and my body.
Hello, shoulders. I see you.
Hello, tightness, stiffness and pain. I see you

What is it you want me to know?nbsp;

Enjoy this episode and a few of the deeper things I’ve learned from this thing called life over the last few months.

Love, 

Allison

Prefer Video Watch this episode on my YouTube Channel here:

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Resources:

• Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post Procrastination or Parts: The Mind Fu&k of Starting Again appeared first on Allison Crow.

Hello Humans, another Road Riff Episode!

I use to consider myself an optimist. 

I still tend to have some of these qualities.

I tend to see the best in people.
I’m able to see the best in people.
Sometimes to my detriment.

My identity for many many years was built around making other people feel good.  

As I allow myself to be more human, as I drop the masks that I lived in to be save, I no longer claim to be an optimist.
Here’s why and what I claim to be instead

Love,

Allison

The ACA Bill of rights I mentioned in the episode

• Allisons ACA Bill of Rights Journal Pages

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 Resources:

• Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post Why I’m No longer an Optimist And What I Am Instead appeared first on Allison Crow.

Our internal worlds, our psyche -and our mind-body system can be complicated and overwhelming at times! Think of the things that seem to derail you and your current ways of “dealing with them.”

Maybe you are like me – super self-aware and read all the books, take lots of classes, do the meditations, and even after years of pursuing personal growth, you get exhausted, and in some deeper layers, there is still a painful internal tension that has never been relieved. I feel you; this was me…until I found Internal Family Systems.

The goal of IFS is to give you the tools to cultivate and embody SELF-energy and to relate lovingly from that place to all the parts within you. IFS can help build your #emotionalagility and help you release negative beliefs that hold you back in life.

IFS is not just information – it’s a practice and a way of BEING WITH all parts of yourself in both mind and body that most of us have not been taught. It is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual and helps you lead your inner and outer worlds from a place of grounded confidence, compassion, & creativity.

Follow and share this month as I give some #internalfamilysystems mojo every day this month.

💛, Allison Crow

#ifscoaching

• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post The Goals Of Internal Family Systems Coaching appeared first on Allison Crow.

Episode 204 Heather Doyle Frasier: The Practice of Compassionate Writing

Writer, Coach, Renaissance Woman, Lover of Books
Publisher of Compassionate Mind Collaborative and a singer. 

After having worked in the traditional publishing industry as a development editor,
Heather saw the humanity missing from the industry.

Meet my book coach, publisher, and friend. 

Writing is such a vulnerable raw experience.
Even when you feel like you have this covered something is going to come up during the process that is difficult and challenging. 

Merging her industry experience with coaching based in Compassionate Mind Training,
Heather creates a space and a loving mandate in her own publishing company.

Love, 

Allison

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Resources:

Heather’s Info:

Website Home:  https://www.cmcollab.com/

Offerings for writing and publishing  https://www.cmcollab.com/writing-your-book

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/compassionatewriter

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/cmcollaborative

Get a copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post Heather Doyle Frasier: The Practice of Compassionate Writing appeared first on Allison Crow.

 

Episode 203 – The Practice of Connection over Control

Another road riff episode!

It’s Sunday morning, 8:23 am as I record this and I’m heading out to my therapeutic horseback riding lessons. After a difficult week, I’ve got some insights and lessons settling into my bones.  There might be a few tears! 

Y’all know everything has an analogy, right?
It’s not even an analogy, life just repeats itself in so many patterns and I see and experience the patterns and love sharing these connections with you – so that we can all SELF-connect a bit more deeply in our lives. (PS…seeing and making connections is an ADHD thing). 

Today’s episode topic is control or connection and the lessons the horses and life are teaching me.

The skills of connection over control and protection are new for many of us and they require compassionate practice. 

Time on task gives us the experience of moving from controlling a situation to connecting and moving through it.
It takes us from trying to do something to becoming one with doing something.  I hope you enjoy the episode – from my tender heart to yours. 

Love,

Allison Crow

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Resources:

Elizabeth Gilbert: Creative Living Beyond Fear

• Website and things to see and read
• 1:1 Coaching 
• Book you will love: Unarmored: Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human 

The post The Practice of Connection over Control appeared first on Allison Crow.

The post Personal development and coaching can be so fuckeryish. appeared first on Allison Crow.

Hey, this is Allison and this is a two part episode.

The first part I recorded as a road riff, and it’s about the magic of getting out of the house.
Then stay tuned for what the Magic Act really was.

I wanna tell you what the magic was and it wasn’t what we expect.

Love,

Allison

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PS:  Camp Cultivate is May 7-11 in the Austin, Texas area- we will be exploring the theme of The Wild Edge of Being Human and how to actually BE in the edges.  It’s a small and intimate event this year.  Find out more at Camp Cultivate 2023

Apply to become a member of the Soulies Self-Leadership Coaching Membership, where we have weekly life and business coaching calls for small business owners and a community of Soul-Full humans doing this thing called life.  

You Can Message Me:

allison@allisoncrow.com
IG: @allison_crow
FB: @AllisonCrow

The post Get Out of The House and Magic Happens – A road riff episode appeared first on Allison Crow.