Wild Edges of Being Human Archives - Allison Crow

Take Time to Look (& Listen)

allisoncrow — Wed, 21 May 2025 15:32:36 +0000

The last thing I want to do when life feels SLOW is slow down even more. Many months ago, I came across this painting by Sarah Bamford Seidelmann. It landed in my feed, and I instantly purchased a wood print from her. It has been over my left shoulder, helping me remember who I am, since I unpacked it.

“Take time to look,” said Georgia O’Keeffe. My own brain also added, “Take time to listen.”

The impossible standards conditioned into my brain expected insight and direction in a flash. My soul knows better, but that did not stop so many parts of me from being irritated, frustrated, self-blaming & shaming, and even afraid.

The vision, the next, the path… has been right here all along in dozens of tiny puzzle pieces. Thirty years ago, soul seeds were planted when I discovered the work of Thomas Moore in a Boulder, Colorado bookstore.

I KNEW.
I’ve always known, and of course, like many of us do, I’ve been distracted in the living of life, in the unbecoming of my training, and in the gaining of wisdom that only experience can bring. Of course, this had to wait until my 3rd Act.

It’s all here.
No big flash today, just stepping forward into the re-enchantment of everyday life from a grounded, weathered, and strangely confident place.

I’ve always known and now it’s time to harvest what has been reblooming all along.

“The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life” gave me permission to have a diverse portfolio of interests and expertise from my early 20s. A scholar, teacher, counselor, psychologist, spiritual student, poet, artist, writer, another kind of mother, and tender of souls in life and work.
“The Education of the Hear t” and “Elemental Self.” (All by Thomas More and all on my shelf for 25-30 years).

My own company, Soul-Full Living, LLC – although my business has evolved over the years, SOUL-FULL remains the guiding path. SELF connection and trust amidst an enticing and distracting world are still the fuel.

The Great Work of Your Life by Stephen Cope, and my own book Unarmored: Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human.

I could list 132 more puzzle pieces that have come together to undoubtedly show me that my mission is in moments, not in moonshots or impact.

In a world of volatility, uncertainty, and complexity, being connected to self, source, and the present moment matters. Intentional living, community, and expression of creativity, poetry, nature, caring conversations, and everyday enchantment – this is the world I am committed to creating.

Take time to look. Take time to listen. Trust yourself. Let it take time.

The post Take Time to Look (& Listen) appeared first on Allison Crow.

Midlife Wandering – Where Am I Going

allisoncrow — Thu, 29 Aug 2024 14:53:04 +0000

Almost two years ago, my book on learning to live with an unarmored heart was published. 2 years ago yesterday, I had an NSTMI heart attack and spent three days in the hospital while the doctors tried to figure out what was going on. Talk about unarmored; life demanded it.

Last night, I told Bill, “I don’t think I’ve been the same since; I just know I’m not who I was before 2022, and I haven’t figured out who I am becoming.”

In midlife, we don’t all need a significant health scare to help us realize we aren’t the same person anymore. My college human development textbooks had literally only a single paragraph on midlife development, mentioning the stereotypical midlife crisis.

Midlife doesn’t have to be a crisis, and for many of us, it is a season of challenging and confronting transitions that activate what we’ve stuffed to the side for many years.

—-

Usually, my writing flows, and just like in midlife – my ‘flow” here has stopped and started and choked. Each of us has a list of our own personal events – that contribute to the clusterfuck that midlife can be.

Where am I going This is another question that speaks to the layers of my life. I don’t have anything I’m “going after.” Sure, I can make up obligatory goals, but I don’t roll that way. My heart has to be infused with it. For now, I do not have much vision, drive, or direction, but there are also days when I am fully annoyed with the wandering.

My “capitalism brain” shames and shoulds me into creating a big vision and coming up with the next “thing” to sell for 20k months. My mortgage and skin care products also want to make sure I’m still earning money. It’s a little financially scary to divest so much of my identity from business me – it has been easier to make money when, deep inside, I was afraid and had something to prove. It was much easier to drive and market and strive and DO when my coping mechanisms ran the show.

When there is no intrinsic big vision – my nudges have encouraged me to find goodness in the specific. Yesterday, (which was a mentally wonky day) was brightened by capturing this bumble bee in my salvia blooms, and the glorious Sports Illustrated images of USA rugby player Ilona Maher in her red triangle-top bikini. My unarmored midlife joy is in the moments like these.

I have no doubt that My Internal Drive will show up in her right time. I am a gardener, not a machine. (Yesterday, I didn’t believe this -today, I do). It is only my job to be present with what is and to be compassionate with all parts of me in this midlife weirdness.

1:1 work with clients has confirmed this. The deliciousness of going slow and deep and spacious with clients – many of whom are experiencing their own versions of releasing the white-knuckle grip on how things used to be, or what their capitalism brains incessantly demand. Together, we are learning to deeply self-trust and regenerate from the inside truth of who we are vs who the world told us we should be.

If you want a skilled, caring, and compassionate hand to hold as you navigate this season of your life and work, I have space open on my roster in September. Message me or start at www coachwithallison dot com.

Finally, yes, I am a bit lonely and miss being in community. I’ll admit that out loud. In the past, I always created the community I wanted – I’m not sure I’m ready to do that, yet, but I am considering it in my heart and body.

As always, my heart is to share so you don’t feel so alone. And, to show you my bumble bee in the salvia flowers, and in doing so I remember that I am enough in this moment. So are you.

The post Midlife Wandering – Where Am I Going appeared first on Allison Crow.

Healing & Finding Hope After the Hard: Colette Nies Von Hanna, Socio-Ecological Feminist Theologian

Elyse Rich — Mon, 12 Aug 2024 13:36:40 +0000

Healing and Hope after Hard Journies with Colette Nies Von Hanna

Navigating Life’s Challenges: A Conversation with Colette Nies Von Hanna

Join me for a conversation with long-time family friend Colette Nies Von Hanna, who shares her journey and insights on being human. Colette, an organic gardener, socio-ecological feminist theologian, and energy researcher from New Braunfels, Texas, discusses the interconnection of ecological trauma and personal experiences. She reflects on her career shifts, including a political run, her academic pursuits, and community gardening efforts involving personal, professional, and spiritual growth. Colette shares her struggle with cancel culture, dealing with political and personal attacks, and the importance of self-awareness in activism and community involvement. She emphasizes the importance of resilience, authenticity, and vision despite facing extreme adversity and the challenges of social expectations.

Colette Nies Von Hanna, MSSW, MDIV

Activist, Socio-Ecological Feminist Theologian, Energy Researcher, Social Worker, Chaplain, 3rd Gen Organic Gardener, Aspiring Urban Farmer, Adoptive Mom, River-Goer, Rabble-Rouser, Bleeding Heart, who loves strong coffee and long naps.

The quote mentioned from my friend Justin’s LinkedIn page:

“To the people who are emotionally sensitive, who care so much about everything no matter how hard they try not to, who notice even the smallest things and take everything to the heart, the struggle is valid. I hope you get surrounded with people who are kind enough to understand you and even if you can’t expect everyone to adjust for you, I hope you get extra patience from this world.”

— Kylie Yzobelle

Key Topics and Timestamps

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

01:08 Colette’s Background and Work

03:48 Personal and Professional Challenges

07:02 Running for Office and Facing Adversity

09:27 Navigating Political, Academic, and Spiritual Struggles

13:01 Reflections on Pain, Privilege, and Growth

25:14 Systemic Issues and Personal Resilience

29:46 The Weight of Awareness

30:38 Embracing Sadness and Hope

32:14 Understanding Bypassing

33:25 Facing Trauma and Healing

36:21 The Journey from Head to Heart

37:35 Learning to Feel and Express Emotions

48:13 Building a SELF-Centered Legacy

* Visit: Website: /

* Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison /coachingwallison/

* Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview /ifs/

* Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

/unarmoredthebook/

https://www.tiktok.com/@allison_crow

https://www.instagram.com/allison_crow/

https://www.facebook.com/wildesgesofbeinghuman

The post Healing & Finding Hope After the Hard: Colette Nies Von Hanna, Socio-Ecological Feminist Theologian appeared first on Allison Crow.

UNLEARNING (In my journal)

allisoncrow — Wed, 07 Aug 2024 17:11:36 +0000

Today is one of those days when all the dots connect, and I can see how the past has led me to now. My now is ordinary; there is no monumental milestone or achievement. There is nothing to brag about, nothing you will admire as fabulous.

Unlearning isn’t a popular or particularly pleasing journey. It’s often heavy and certainly not inspirational low-hanging fruit to sell in a coaching program. “I can help you make more money.”

If I were really brave, I would share more of my unlearning with you out loud, but I am still sensitive to what you think about me.

Still.

Most of all, if I weren’t afraid of being so “negative.” There’s some programming and “not truth.”

Do you think nature says, “I shouldn’t be so negative#8221; or even God? Buahahahah. Nope.

We can not escape life’s difficulties even if we do everything we can to escape them. But we can learn to access our own SELFSOUL to be with ourselves and others in the difficulties (and the delights).

Unlearning IS a valid path to SELFSOUL trust. I added SOUL because the SELF-TRUST I am teaching in my work, and living in my life is trust in the INFINITE SOUL within you. The GOD inside of you that you are.

It was always calling, even from way back in 3rd grade, when at HP Elementary, I was compelled to say a prayer in chapel because I was tired of hearing the shame, fire, and brimstone messages about avoiding hell. My little 3rd-grade SOUL knew back then that it was CONNECTION and relationship, not control. And here we are at 52—seeing it all led me to this ordinary moment—where it is more than a theory; it just is.

Alli, you asked for a SOUL-full life for many years, and you’ve been living it all along and are living it here in this moment. You found it by not trying to escape your humanity but by exploring it all the way to the wild edges.

The post UNLEARNING (In my journal) appeared first on Allison Crow.

Lessons Learned from Gabor Mate & Compassionate Inquiry

Elyse Rich — Sun, 30 Jun 2024 14:55:10 +0000

Welcome back! In today’s episode, I delve into lessons I’ve learned from one of my favorite teachers and approaches ~ Gabor Maté and Compassionate Inquiry.

I explore his method as a facilitator, the importance of gaining consent, his views on addiction as attempts to solve suffering, and authenticity versus attachment. Reflecting on his teachings, I discuss the impact of the “still-face experiment” and how connection to self is crucial in our healing journeys. I’ll also share insights on over-functioning as a coping mechanism and Gabor’s perspective on thriving in a sick world. Join me as we reconnect with ourselves and each other.

00:00 Introduction to Gabor Maté and Compassionate Inquiry

00:45 Facilitation Techniques and Interruptions

02:37 The Role of Consent in Facilitation

03:07 Understanding Addiction and Suffering

06:56 The Still Face Experiment

10:23 Authenticity vs. Attachment

18:01 Overfunctioning and Coping Mechanisms

20:46 The Impact of a Sick World on Emotional Health

22:45 Present Moment Awareness and Self-Connection

The Still Face Experiment: https://youtu.be/YTTSXc6sARg?si=9a1-oDJfE69BESL-

Gabor Maté Website: https://drgabormate.com/

The Myth Of Normal: https://amzn.to/3zoVdmc

Compassionate Inquiry: https://compassionateinquiry.com/

* Visit: Website: /

* Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison /coachingwallison/

* Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview /ifs/

* Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

/unarmoredthebook/

https://www.tiktok.com/@allison_crow

https://www.instagram.com/allison_crow/

https://www.facebook.com/wildesgesofbeinghuman

The post Lessons Learned from Gabor Mate & Compassionate Inquiry appeared first on Allison Crow.

We Can’t Learn When We Are In A Reactive State

allisoncrow — Thu, 27 Jun 2024 13:54:52 +0000

There is an OBVIOUS inflamed and injured nervous system state – with an obvious acute injury. We can see and soften when the injury is obvious. Oh wow!! Your arm got sliced off. That’s gonna take some time to heal- and we can conjure compassion for the obvious wound.

MANY of the people I come to work with have a chronically inflamed and overstimulated nervous system. Years of inner wounds and pain build up. Imagine a really severe sunburn from the inside that you can’t see. Even the slightest touch or poke can cause seemingly extreme reactions and outbursts- and then, because we have an extreme reaction that doesn’t seem to make sense- we pile on the self-shame – adding to the injury.

Burns take time to heal.

There is NO cognitive solution when our insides are severely raw from decades of coping mechanisms that look good on the outside but are wound on the inside.

Soft, space, slow, decompression, and regulation—this is what needs to happen, but we have overstimulating everyday life to attend to. It’s not easy. Our coping skills are applauded and rewarded—there is no 12-step program or rehab for them. So we have to, in our injured and inflamed state, find just a tiny anchor of somatic respite and softness and nurture that as often as we can.

Slow.

Soft.

Space.

Even the tiniest bit to start.

And having a soft person to support you helps tremendously.

It can take time. It’s not done in an insight. It’s done in the safety built over time.

The world can be hard… even the everyday subtleties…. Can wear us thin.

I’ve got you.

We won’t be in this phase forever. The new ways of being will come- but for now- slow and soft is fast.

The post We Can’t Learn When We Are In A Reactive State appeared first on Allison Crow.

You’re Doing it Wrong – From the Archives

allisoncrow — Tue, 25 Jun 2024 15:02:20 +0000

Originally written June25, 2022

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘁 𝗪𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗚!

Does anyone else have an old trauma-based sensitivity to this phrase?

I have been a puppet to these strings.

And I’m certain I’ve expressed “You are doing it wrong” here and in person more times than I wish.

This is one of my great paradoxes. Both losing who the world told me I should be (and still does) and discovering my o

wn authentic way. Uncentering from them to center to me and my centering is still wrong because it is not enough for yet another them.

At the micro, I’m fucking it all up, to be sure.

At the macro, it is today, this moment of now, and I am a speck of fleshy dust on a rock, floating through infinite space. I am a tiny 5’9 coagulation of matter with thumbs typing on a device with a screen that publishes to the inter and outer of webs.

None of it is ever good enough. In me or out of me. What you do or don’t do and what I do or don’t do.

I’ll never be a good enough white, cis colonized, Un-racist, un-indoctrinated, un-Christianized, lib-t#@^, socialist commie woman, and you’ll never be a good enough whatever you failed at in the world’s eyes you.

None of us are doing it right and we are all doing it better than everyone around us in our eyes.

It’s exhausting.

I see your mess and I see your perfection. I see you doing it wrong and I see you doing it the best you are capable of. I see me doing the same.

I spent most of my 50 years trying to be better. Do right and good and care in the right ways.

And it has NEVER been enough. Not on one side of history or the aisle or the other.

And at the end of the day, here I am with ME. Just me.

My right is only ever good enough for me. It has NEVER lived up to YOUR (whoever you are) expectation. I’m working on letting your right be good enough for you. Do our rights /our correctness EVER meet in the same place Maybe for a moment and then another moment happens and showed us our separateness, and wrongness.

Only the SHOULDS rip us each in two and we both lose. We both end up wrong.

It’s exhausting.

If it isn’t June 25th, if there was no Saturday, no horrible history, and no dreaded future to worry about- there is only right now and right now and right NOW.

No matter what I preach – it is only right now and it only has to be enough for me because it will nev

er be enough for whoever them is. And it won’t ever be right for you.

What a complicated world we live in with always the threat of UN belonging.

This is the hook—it freezes us, fights us, or fawns us due to the threat of disconnection and belonging.

And that is the one thing we all have in common- the innate need to belong.

I’m tired of trying to belong in a way that makes you happy while I lose me. I’m tired of trying to belong in a way that works for you but not me.

I’m allowed to center me. You are allowed to center you. You are the center of your universe and I am the center of mine.

And the cycle goes in and on- we each try to rip another from their center for our own security.

It is exhausting.

And so for today.

I will just be here – with one dog, and this phone, and my words and expression, and the air touching the bottom of my feet and my bra feeling too tight and my throat itchy.

And is just IS.

And so today, here now. Belonging to only my own sweet soul and SELF of me, has to be enough.

I breathe and check in…..

and it is.

Ps. I can smell that Leroy is dying. It’s in his breath. Because that is what life is. It is living and loving and then death.

The post You’re Doing it Wrong – From the Archives appeared first on Allison Crow.

Punching People In The Face

allisoncrow — Sun, 21 Apr 2024 15:35:40 +0000

The more I meet myself (and my parts), the less I want to punch other people in the face.

Most of us are conditioned to despise, fear, and suppress “negative emotions.” I don’t believe that any emotions are negative. I believe they have wisdom and information for us. I believe there are cognitive and body skills we can learn to understand and lead our emotions instead of them leading us.

There will be no more erupting and no more pressing down (depression). Emotional self-leadership and the language of emotions can be learned and practiced.

Most people are taught that emotions don’t belong at work. Mental health, anxiety, & stress much What if these parts could be softened and compassionately led into relaxing & sharing their wisdom, leading to calm and creative confidence and courage?

This is the advanced personal development I do with business owners, executives, and leaders . If you would like to explore coaching, find out more here: /coachingwallison/

I also wrote about this in my book #Unarmored –Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

#lifecoachingforentrepreneurs #ifscoaching #leadershipdevelopment #leadershipcoaching

The post Punching People In The Face appeared first on Allison Crow.

Insights From Re-Blooming My Business

Elyse Rich — Mon, 11 Mar 2024 14:43:09 +0000

Allison shares her personal journey of reinventing herself and her business,
discussing her struggles, coping mechanisms, and the need for genuine connections.

She emphasizes the importance of understanding one’s needs and cycles, challenging toxic individualism,
and finding what works authentically for oneself in business and life.

Key Topics and Timestamps

00:00 Welcome to the Live Session: Embracing Spring and Personal Insights

00:45 Journey Through Deep Self-Care and Spiritual Awakening

02:51 Understanding Coping Mechanisms and Embracing Humaness

04:34 The Transformation: From Personal Struggles to Spiritual Reintegration

07:57 Rebuilding Business and Personal Growth Amidst Challenges

12:02 Embracing Prosperity and Connection: A New Approach to Business

18:35 Breaking Free from Conventional Rules: Authentic Content Creation

20:39 Navigating the Achievement Phase: Letting Go of Old Paradigms

22:09 The One-to-Many Model and Its Limitations

23:54 Unlocking the Power of Personal Reinvention

24:37 Navigating Business with Personalized Strategies

26:20 Embracing Individuality in Business and Life

30:13 Challenging Societal Norms and Personal Development Myths

36:17 Understanding Variance and Supporting Personal Ebbs and Flows

42:14 Rebloom: Embracing Sovereignty and Spring Renewal

Mentioned In The Episode:

The Post about Poker and Variation from my colleague, Mike Harris

The Self-Lead Humans in Business Facebook Group

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
Internal Family Systems coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post Insights From Re-Blooming My Business appeared first on Allison Crow.

EASE From The Inside Out

Elyse Rich — Thu, 22 Feb 2024 15:15:07 +0000

It’s Road Riff time – Ease from the Inside Out.

I’ve had some really interesting, unusual resistance around content creation
and I didn’t have an “episode,” but I did have a drive into town

Stream of Consciousness with a Purpose and More at Ease

I want to be more at ease this year from the inside
It’s one of the core goals of how and who I want to be

This riff is inspired by Gabor Mate, Authenticity & Internal Family Systems

Love,

Allison

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
Internal Family Systems coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post EASE From The Inside Out appeared first on Allison Crow.