Too Much Woman Archives - Allison Crow

Dreaming in Spanish & Writing Your Story With Sara Alvarado

Elyse Rich — Wed, 28 Jun 2023 17:51:09 +0000

Dreaming in Spanish with Sara Alvarado (and writing your story).

Live, it’s Allison Crow and Sara Alvarado!

We are going to be talking about telling your story and Sara’s new book,
Dreaming In Spanish: An Unexpected Love Story in Puerto Vallarta.

I adored this book! And I really did start thinking in Spanish after reading it. It’s a story of healing, of unexpected and profound love. It’s a story of combining cultures and families, and so much more. I hope you will enjoy this conversation and I know you will love Sara’s book.

Love,

Allison

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Resources:

Dreaming In Spanish: An Unexpected Love Story in Puerto Vallarta

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Amazon Best Seller List Is it legit

allisoncrow — Thu, 22 Sep 2022 14:06:42 +0000

A colleague asked a question about the Amazon Best Seller List and if it truly brought any credibility or higher opinion.

Great question. Most of the answers were indifferent or critical due to the campaigns to “manipulate of the algorithm” or “buying your way to the top of the list” to increase sales vs. innate credibility.

I get it. I used to poo-poo this. Until I wrote a book. You bet I am going to ask all my friends and family and fans and followers to buy my book. I’m gonna ask them to buy 3; the kindle version, a paperback, and one for a friend!

Yes. I’m going to make the kindle version super easy to buy early on. Yep. I’m working the algorithm. Why- for visibility. I spent three years crafting this work of words and art. And the more visible my work is because people I know buy the book (of whom some will both never read, and some will read and genuinely love). If I want my work to reach beyond my sphere and – I have to MAKE that opportunity for myself.

Oprah ain’t coming to pluck my book out of obscurity.

It’s me. And it’s my work, and I’m gonna bet on myself to get this baby out. And then yes. Maybe it will start getting traction by referral. Maybe magic will strike because of the quality and impact of my work.

But if I don’t hustle it up front, it has no chance.

I used to be one of the people outside of the ring who shit on the “game”…. But that’s because I was too chicken to put my own work in the ring.

And ps. I buy every single book people in my sphere write. Because, fuck yeah, they wrote a book, they put their heart and mind and effort into bound pages for the public review- and that is brave! And buying the $.99 kindle and a paperback is a great way for me to celebrate that courage.

And ps… Do you want visibility and credibility in your business Do you want more “success?” Do you want your skills to be validated in the marketplace Do you dream of your work – your services to move through communities and to catch fire?

No one is coming to discover you. You and the kindling to that fire. Lightning won’t strike. Be your own biggest fan.

And don’t be like me years ago. Don’t be an ass to criticize those actually out there sharing their hearts and showing their work from behind the safety of your hiding behind a screen with no work to share.

And for those who are living in the risk of putting your work out into the world, I give you all the claps .

Notice how the loudest and meanest critics or complainers are Not taking any of the risks you do. Bless them or hex them and move on.

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Drop Below Your Head to Inner Authority

allisoncrow — Wed, 20 Oct 2021 15:21:33 +0000

Inner Authority: hello fellow recovering people pleasers.

Hello, over-functioning and over-empathic leaders.

All these things work until they don’t… and now here you are realizing so much of what made you successful was behavioral patterns born out of childhood trauma, emotional neglect…. And the entire effing world and systems and media and religion and school and everything that conditioned you to give your authority away!!!

Did I mention religion You know, the kind that, in 3rd grade, threatened to leave you behind if you didn’t fall in line….

And so even though you are successful, maybe you find yourself doing the next course, or high-end mastermind, or upgrading your branding or whatever the thing is you think will get you to that nebulous “there.”

Even after all the success and stability- you still get flooded with doubt, overbook your calendar out of obligation, neglect the things that nourish you even though you thrive better if you do them…. And then you spiral into shame because you “aren’t doing it right.”

well, here we’re are. And you are totally doing it right.

But don’t take it on my authority….

Slow down and check deep down in your own body, your own heart, in the place deeper and truer than all the voices….

What does that part of you say Remember who you BE. And that you are the decider. You CAN trust yourself to BE YOU, do things your way, slow down…. Build certainty in your own authority.

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Coming Undone – From 2016

allisoncrow — Tue, 30 Mar 2021 20:29:37 +0000

Is it possible to be thankful for coming undone For the unraveling and losing my shit over and over in the past year?

I’m a leader. A small, but still public figure. My life’s work is supported by being online, outspoken, and having a tribe.

I’ve been complimented a thousand times for my light and positivity. And in the last 14 months, I’ve lost my shit daily. I have felt more shadow than light. And I’ve certainly not behaved like the leader my early mentors taught me to be.

But I am not leading from a pulpit. I am leading by living my life- feeling it all and choosing to look for love in all of it. I am being me.

Coming undone is the scariest and most vulnerable experience I’ve had as a human. I’ve lost loved ones, and clients, and at times felt like I lost myself.

But really, in the loss of my shit, I’m finding more of myself.

I had both a beautiful and frankly awful childhood. Trauma, chaos, raging, abuse and neglect set me up to be either a complete mess or a complete over achieving control freak…. to be a lover or a fighter.

I don’t know if it was choice- or my psyche- I was just so fearful of the pain I chose the rainbows and unicorns. I chose to fix things, to solve problems, to make peace. I chose to overcome vs succumb. I chose lemonade.

At 24 I was clinically diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

At 44 I finally know why. I’ve pressed all these shadow emotions down. I believed that if I let them out…..

– I would die from the pain

– people would leave me

– I would drag others down if I allowed those feelings to surface.

– I was crazy, or would be seen as crazy and this rejected

– it’s not ok to be a mess

– I had to be positive and choose love

And so much more.

I actually enjoy JOY. I enjoy seeing the glass half full. I enjoy feeling good. In well over 50k coaching calls, every client has ultimately wanted one thing- to feel good. Every goal, achievement, desire, healing– ultimately was for the purpose of feeling good.

Outside of coaching, in ordinary life, drinking, shopping, spending, small talk, diversions, and a list of a million more things…. were all for the subtle, and perfectly human desire to FEEL Good.

And then in September if 2015 the feeling bad started. Death of close loved ones, loss of stamina and physical health, deeper depression, tax burden, failures in business, parents aging and ailing physically and financially….. and me trying to FIX it all.

And clearly, from the moment it all began to show up in the tsunami that can be life is, I saw that no coaching or spiritual bypass would work here.

The only way out would be through.

The ONLY way to healing and JOY would actually be the allowing of the feeling bad… the coming undone.

They said I risked it all when I took off my clothes on stage last year in a talk about stripping down to my authentic self. But none of us knew that after getting naked, I’d have to turn inside out.

And here I am. Undone.

Not ready to make nice or smoke unicorn and rainbow crack. It feels riskier than getting naked because I could topple my business (which I put entirely too much of my self worth in). I could have another husband leave me, I could lose more friends for being “too much.”

And this season, feeling the shadow is the work I can’t not do. And I can’t not do it in private. It does none of us justice.

I always share behind the curtain. And so why stop now. HA!

The political and global climate of the last year, the election and in the current aftermath – has been my particular UNcorking. My Kracken is unleashed.

I have been without grace, overbearing and downright nasty and mean. Ive had intentions of being curious and compassionate, fierce but loving…. and instead I’ve yelled and accused and raged. I’ve sobbed and screamed and wept and been incapable or unwilling to listen. I’ve been overbearing and ugly. I’ve been terrified by the rage and fear and grief that clearly are alive INSIDE of me.

I haven’t, and I’ll bet most of you haven’t either, been taught to feel these feelings in a healthy and appropriate way.

I. Am. Still. Learning.

I don’t have answers. And today, despite the shame and guilt I feel, I also feel thankful. I am grateful that the ugliness in me has demanded to be seen.

It has not been pretty. And there is no quick making nice of it.

And as my beloved Thich Nhat Hanh says,

“There, there Anger, I see you. I will not leave you. I am here for you.”

“There, there, Terror and Fear, I see you. I will not leave you. I am here for you.”

“There, there, Pain I Think Will Kill Me, I see you. I will not leave you. I am here for you.”

Finally, after 20 years of personal and spiritual seeking and practice, I finally see you. I will not leave you. I am here for you.

And I am grateful to you. And somehow I know that I will be put back together again. And I will have many more undoings as long as I am human. And I will keep going.

This is an entirely new version of love. This is an entirely new making and BEing of me.

Allison

Ps. I have not gotten here alone. The sacred space I’ve chosen to feel these feeling has been the Expressive arts with

Chris Zydel

. And I couldn’t not have done this deep work if I hadn’t had the loving leadership of

Rich Litvin

who always supported and honored me being wholly and vulnerably me.

I have had the loving and allowing support of friends and colleagues in sacred containers and circles. 4pc, animal medicine sisters, my own clients, and my Expressive Arts training sisters.

And of course my husband who is my rock. Heaven when he doesn’t understand or agree- he never leaves. He stays. And loves.

The story is not over… it is just beginning.

References:

Stripping down video:https://youtu.be/y8jEEfdqdBk

Not ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks: https://youtu.be/pojL_35QlSI

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This is 49, a Reflection of 17 years in Business for Myself

allisoncrow — Mon, 08 Mar 2021 14:51:17 +0000

One of the benefits of age is being able to connect the dots looking back.

This post is part journal to show up in my memories, year after year FOR ME…and part public for you – as a gift -that you might see we are all one.

I am clearly a woman of range. This has been a THEME in my life in the last few years, becoming, both/and, mystic & logistic, soul-full and strategic. This range is both a gift and a pain in my ass – because I can’t set it and forget it. Integration and attention are constant. There is no arrival. As you probably know, the work is never done.

I’ve built an ever-evolving business over the last 17 years from both the masculine and feminine. Sometimes independent of one another, and other times exquisitely integrated and working together. At this point, I am deeply proud of my intuition, coaching skills, and my strategy and structure both for myself and my clients. I am living my dharma, my soul’s calling as a woman of range — Soul-Full and Strategic as a life and business coach (both what you see online, and what you don’t see behind the scenes in my life and work).

At one point my Spirituality was so visibly integrated into my work…and eventually, “White Spiritual Women Coaches” became so cliche online, and in some places, many in the “spiritual coaching space” were being harmful – and I was terrified… OF DOING IT WRONG. I so wanted to be “good” so I pulled it back not just online by in my own personal practices.

*my need to do it RIGHT and GOOD was stronger than my personal faith and spiritual practices/connection. That need was also exacerbated by personal, political stress, and overstimulation in the last 4 years…and then covid climate. And so my nervous system has gripped what it thinks it can rely on. LOGIC, INTELLECT, and STRUCTURE. These things provided me physical and financial, and emotional safety.

What’s funny – actually perfect is this: I DID need to strengthen my logic, my structures, and my physical and financial, and emotional safety.

My soul needed to learn how to not numb difficult emotions and truths with toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing. I remember asking God one time, why someone close to me had such miraculous and OBVIOUS spiritual gifts and mine were so invisible. God said to me, “because you have so much faith you don’t need miracles.”

What I find so fascinating as I look back and connect dots, that have also been waves, is that it has been a MIRACLE to let my faith rest (i never lost it – I just stashed it in a closet for a while) and to be fully HUMAN and to build these structures in my life.

I’ve been saying, the last few years, that allowing myself to be fully HUMAN is the most spiritual experience I’ve ever had. Not just structure (chopping wood and carrying water) but also the deep emotional shadow work of meeting difficult (and often labeled negative) emotions.

As I lift my head to the light, this morning, from my “WORK” over the last 5 years…. I can see the form of what I have created and know that it is good, and what I have created can support me. I can see that I am learning to meet myself and others with compassion. I am also able to CARE DEEPLY and let that hurt, for myself and for humanity. I am able to take my desire and pain and move toward change, for myself and for humanity. I also see that I have created financial systems, and legal systems, and spending/saving habits that support me. I am still learning to ask for help – and I have built a personal and professional team of support, releasing daily, my need to control and over-functioning as a trauma response.

Today, my “house” is more in order than it has EVER been in my lifetime.

Wild and colorful Allison, with all the spiritual faith in the world, was really not congruent if I didn’t embody my responsibility as a human in this life, to build physical structures of support, and to FEEL more than the good shit.

My mess is my masterpiece. Thank you to all of you who have stood by and with me in the messy seasons. Most of all I thank ME for being willing to be in my mess, perfectly. This is not an easy, nor always pretty path…and it is the one I will take over and over.

I can feel the next season of Spirit INTEGRATED with the STRUCTURES – both FAITH AND FORM working in partnership. I’m pulling my spiritual practices, faith, and quantum thinking back out of the closet for full participation.

Ooooohhhhh, this is gonna be sweet! Who is coming with me

Thank you to my coaches and mentors and therapists (Rich Litvin, John P Morgan, Tara Newman, Chris Zydel, Rebecca Ching, Heather Doyle Fraser). Thank you to my husband (Bill Flanigin) and my powerful and amazing clients (so many of you), and to my staff (Stacey, Cali, Elyse, and Amber) and financial advisors (Blake & Lisa Westerterp, Jessica Salzman, and Sandy Eichel).

Holy Shit, y’all help me get good!

More is not better, better is better.

This is 49…watch out 50….I’m coming for ya!

Love, A

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Celebrate The Too Much Woman

allisoncrow — Thu, 18 Jan 2018 00:26:30 +0000

Here’s what I know. In thousands and thousands and thousands of coaching calls- almost every single client taps into a sense of insecurity and not-enoughness. And what I’ve seen is that the SPIRIT within is begging for her (or his) too-muchness to be set free.

You ARE too much.
Too loud. Too quiet. Too straight. Too wild. Too shy. Too skinny. Too fat. Too confident. Too insecure. Too smart. Too dumb. Too emotional. Too Expressive. Too aggressive. Too sexual. Too demure. Too safe. Too risky. Too conservative. Too woo-woo. Too crazy. Too talkative. Too insane. Too much.

I don’t think we just doubt our worth and enoughness. I think we doubt our too-muchness.

TOO MUCH WOMAN – I celebrate you. I ask you to be your TOO Much-self. What if you embraced and loved all of your too muchness What if you allowed her to be expressed and embodied in every moment?

You don’t have to shrink to control people’s opinions of you. The antidote is living into all of your too muchness – there in that space, you will find the love and acceptance you craved all along. – all there inside your own heart.
? allison.

How are you TOO MUCH— Comment below and let’s celebrate!

Ps. This is the theme of Camp Star Heart 2018.

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Expressive arts…. diving in to the Underworld

allisoncrow — Thu, 18 Jan 2018 00:22:46 +0000

I certainly have posted #toomuch today. And I’m a too much woman.

I am learning every day to love- deeply. Not just the good stuff – but also the deep shadow stuff. As I own my shadow- it frees me from deep pain… and releases me to love you without manipulation- but from a giving place instead of getting.

As I lean into discomfort- and listen to my body- and my inner wisdom- and feel all there is to feel- I set myself free.

I see my hate.
I see my fear.
I see my judgment.
I see my avoidance.
I see my insecurities.
I see my delusion.
I see my rage.
I see my unfaithfulness.
I see my disregard for my neighbor.
I see my intolerance of your shit. I see my intolerance of my own shit.
I see my massive projection on to all of you and especially to my most beloved.
I see my lack of compassion.
I see my pride and ego and excruciating need to feel valid and right and liked.

There, there, shadow self. I see you. I will not leave you. I am here for you.

Ps. This is a messy as fuck and painful process

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