Emotions, ADHD & Motivation – A Convergence of Ideas

Hi Y’all!

I’ve been meaning to do an ADHD podcast for over a year and I saw this quote today by Tami Simon from Sounds True,

“Sometimes only the answer is found through living life.”

When I give myself the time and space to live life, the connections reveal themselves. And unmixing my internalized-for-51-years identity as it overlaps with ADHD has been a bit of a rumble for me lately. 

While not solely about ADHD, I have had some recent insights that really landed as I continue on my learning and practicing of IFS, some  deeper study of the Enneagram (because those dang test never tell me the same number). This episode is a grand convergence of ideas connecting emotions, ADHD, and motivation–seen from a deeper than usual lens. 

Love, 

Allison

• The Enneagram Insights I’ve gained have been from listening to Suzanne Stabile’s podcast, The Enneagram Journey, and reading her book The Path Between Us. 
• I’m also reading Sari Solden’s Book (the revised and expanded version) Women With Attention Deficit Disorder Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life 

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• Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

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I disagree.

When I really self-connect with the feeling parts of me, I get the BEST and TRUEST wisdom… I get information about what’s UNDER the feeling and emotion. Emotions are the means of getting my attention so that I might slow down to get curious and go deeper.

Even the deep pangs of loss and grief are my teachers and give me hope I wouldn’t have without the loss. Being willing to feel all the way to the edges of this human condition is giving me life!

Here’s what I sense for me for the coming year:

Yet, ANOTHER deeper layer of truly being ME – without the masks. Embracing my quirks of using so many words instead of being concise as a speaker and teacher. Living in my unfilteredness MORE instead of less because I feel shame put on my by the world’s SHOULDS.

Yesterday I was hit with a wave of business grief when listening to a podcast with Brene Brown, Adam Grant, and Simon Sinek. A younger part of me has longed for “notoriety” and success like they have for years. But wanting and having are two different things. And my reasons for wanting that have been healed more and more. I wanted that to feel significant. But now that I FEEL significant from within, I sense no need or desire for that and I certainly don’t want the effort and complexity of that much BIGNESS.

On that podcast, I was struck by two terms – and I’m stealing them and putting them in my own context.
Maker and Manager.

Having that much bigness requires a large portion of “managerness” just for function. And my system doesn’t function well at all with that much “managerness.” Even with leveraged help, my brain stalls with so much mental load.

I am a MAKER! Not a manager. I am a creator and a creative. I am sensitive and tender. I require excessive space to really thrive. I do love ideas, and coaching, and teaching, and writing, and making art. I crave connection and belonging more than scale.

Even though for years I have been living in my authentic self – there is another layer that has yet to surrender to who I AM instead of the pressure I take on to be.

Here’s a really private thought: Do you know how subconsciously I feel so much shame about my coaching income That I haven’t doubled or grown beyond what I make.

There are so many big swinging dicks blasting their million dollar + revenue in my professional world, and there is always the lure and pressure of scaling. Many of my own client’s incomes surpass my own.

What’s funny is – I’ve sustained a solid 175-210k a year gross for all but 2 of my years in this industry (the first year and the first year I went out on my own were both below 100k). Even this year, when I didn’t sell shit for the last 7 months of the year because I had to take care of personal things more than business – I thought my business would suffer – the money still came in. I usually net about 50% of that. This year my business will net less due to book and event expenses. My living expenses are deliciously low, and somehow my savings helped cover hospital and vet bills out the wazoo this year.

And my brain has been conditioned that that is NOT ENOUGH. Can you imagine being ashamed of that?
The fact that I have had a sustainable coaching practice for almost 20 years is an INCREDIBLE accomplishment. And I am done with the not-enoughness. I’m am done with MORE MORE MORE….

I wanna MAKE MAKE MAKE, Create Create Create, Play Play Play, and Connect, Connect Connect.
I wanna cultivate connection and be in my humanness – not drive drive drive. I wanna trust myself more than I ever have – 2023 has shown me that I CAN.
I wanna be in the PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE of living and creating to the wild edges of being human. I’d love to start speaking on stages again – as long as I am free to be me- no filters. I’d love to get paid for writing, and I’d love delicious coaching partnerships. I’ll keep getting paid for lots of the work I create and the help I offer. It’s just what I do. The significance and abundance I thought I didn’t have – has been in me all along.

As my husband once said so wisely, “Allison, I love that you are into growth and change- it’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you. But you try so hard to grow, I don’t try to grow at all and I still do.”

It’s been here on my wall all along on this poster. And as my system does, it starts in my cognitive brain, and slowly through space and practice it becomes REAL in my whole body and nervous system.

AND SO IT IS.

The post Recovering Overachiever Complete appeared first on Allison Crow.

Hello, Soul-Full People.

Today I have something special for you. I am doing some recordings for my marketing team that are excerpts from my book:

Unarmored, Finding Home In The Wild Edges Of Being Human

While there won’t be an audio book for a while,
the hard back and digital copies of the book are coming out next week on December 6th.

I’m super excited & I wanted to give all my podcast listeners some sneak audio listens.

So today I’m gonna be sharing some excerpts from the book.

I have no idea what order they were actually in but I hope they will touch your heart.
I hope they will wet your appetite and get you excited for this book that is coming out.

I so appreciate your support and your excitement and your encouragement and your time and attention
to listening to the work that I create that is for all of us on this human journey.

Love,

Allison

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Resources:

To find out more about the book & get on the list:
allisoncrow.com/unarmoredthebook

Become a member of Soulies Self-Leadership Society:
www.coachwithallison.com

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At the beginning of the year I hired a coach to work on self leadership and self trust and a whole new deepening of who I be is being cultivated. 

I love a good reset! Like when my Amazon fire stick stops working I just reset it or my computer starts going slow I just reboot it.

I am in a new phase of cultivating my meaningful work.

Any time we go through an expansion and evolution I think it’s normal for scarcity and doubt to flare up. I am so grateful for the flareups. I don’t bowl over them, I meet them with tenderness. There is opportunity with whole body healing and embodiment of that which we are cultivating. 

The embodiment piece – taking these things that I cultivate into my whole body. 

I’m moving closer to myself in a calm and curious way. 

Meeting the tenderness & listening.

Fear, comparison, anxiety & perfectionism are NOT moral failures. 

Instead of jumping over these tender parts and forcing myself into creativity and self trust, I notice I am embodying self trust by meeting those tender parts of myself. 

They say what you focus on expands. I call bullshit on that. What you ignore expands. 

When we jump over the difficult parts we end up at the same place over and over and that’s not a moral failure either. 

If you’re feeling wobbly slow down and check in below your head and check in with your own heart. 

What if you just sat and listened to your fears and listen does not mean believe? 

What if you really heard the parts of you that get into what people think, perfection, numbing, powerlessness, scarcity, fear, the need for certainty, exhaustion, comparison, production overdoing, over hustling, over performing, anxiety as a lifestyle, self doubt, shoulding all over yourself and being cool & always control? 

What if … I don’t want to let go.. I want to listen & nurture.. that’s how I cultivate. What if these aren’t negative emotions?
What if they are seed opportunities to cultivate something? 

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Reference Links:

Brene Brown
https://brenebrown.com/
https://brenebrown.com/wholehearted-inventory/

Allison Crow
Painting retreat – 2 spots left.
/wild-and-free-expressive-arts-retreat-with-allison/
Soulies  
https://soulfullsuccess.live/purchase-life/

Video Episodes
https://www.facebook.com/allisoncrow/videos/356179269448343
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MfjXYscASY

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The post What if You FULLY Trusted Yourself appeared first on Allison Crow.

I first drew this self-portrait in 2013.

There is a whole world, and framework, and science, and view of spirituality out there I had no idea existed.

I’m definitely headed in the most perfect direction for me personally and professionally.

 

Being in my family of origin, being married, and running a business have been the BIG three in becoming my Soul-Full Self.

#deepinnerwork has been my jam as a coach, and for myself …. and I’m diving in deeper. Talk about #womanofrange and #becoming

The post Lovingly Managing My Brain appeared first on Allison Crow.

One lesson I’ve learned and re-learned over the years is the importance of values. 

Especially in business, our values are what can ground us when wobbly, give us clarity for the future, and what we can always reconfigure to fit our ever-changing BEING. 

Our brand values – not to be confused with core values – are so important in fact, that I’ve dedicated this entire show to them. 

I’m offering you a quick look into what they can do for your business, what my 5 brand values are, and a free guide to your own values that’s usually only available to my clients.

Looking to jump to a particular section Here is what happens in this episode: 

2:29 – An intro into what this business values thing is all about

3:12 – The gift I’ve made you around values exercises

12:46 – The difference between having a business that makes you money and one that your soul calls for 

14:03 – My 5 values 

32:00 – What do you value?nbsp;

Access your free values workbook I mention during the show.

Want exquisite, high-end, heartfelt, & authentic life/biz coaching and community at an insanely easy price – so you have room to ALSO invest in the growth of your business Check out Soul-Full Success Coaching Membership.

Ready for more?nbsp;Join my email community for more goodies or to just shoot me a message. 

The post The Business Values of SoulFull Living appeared first on Allison Crow.

Welcome to the last week of my September Sabbatical!

This means it’s the last week of sharing my “Best Of” episodes and we’re going to wrap up with the popular episode “The Space Between Ambition and Loving What Is”. 

I wanted to share this idea again because this space between what is and what’s next is when the SLOW TANGO is most important- especially for recovering overachievers. 

We’re all caught in a bit of “what is” and “what’s next” right now, so if you’re feeling like you are in this murky, fuzzy space, this one is a must-listen. 

This episode is especially fun because I didn’t go into this episode with a plan or three well thought out points, it’s me, in the slow tango, thinking through things with you, like that fuzzy space, my purpose, and my adventure so far.

It also represents a shift for me in how I was thinking about what I shared with you on this podcast, it’s been something I’ve come back to over and over again in the last year, sharing Allison unfiltered, so that’s much of what we talk about in this conversion. 

Enjoy this last of the “best of” series and I look forward to speaking with you live again next week!

Love, 

Your Favorite Life Coach, 

Allison Crow

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We know that it’s important to process emotions vs. shove them down or explode them out! Most of us have not been taught how to actually feel our feelings.  This week Super Soulie and Certified Professional Coach Kristen Kosinski shares with us the value of Emotional Processing – or How to Feel Your Feelings.  She is a master at helping people to allow their feelings and emotions to be their superpowers. 

Kristen says:

It breaks my heart when I see people who are DEPRESSED, SHUTDOWN AND UNFULFILLED because they are disowning and burying their emotions, stifling their ability to own their dreams which is making them sick (spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually and financially).

I want you to feel like you can GO AFTER YOUR DREAMS, VISIONS AND GOALS and CREATE MAGIC in your life both personally or professionally. I cannot wait to share with you the tools that I have learned to do this over the last 20 years.

Listen in as Kristen shares a bit about Angry October and the value and process of actually FEELING our intense emotions.

Find Kristen Kosinski and learn about working with her online at www.kristenkosinski.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristenkosinski

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristenkosinski

LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/kristen-kosinski-7415144

Thanks for spreading the word about The Better Life Better Work Show.  And of course, I love your Social Media Mentions and Shares with #BetterLifeBetterWorkShow

Let’s connect online @allison_crow on Instagram and Allison Crow on Facebook. 

And, if you’d like to be a master soul student of Better Life and Better Work, I invite you to join me in the Soul-Full Success Coaching Membership Community ~ My exquisite membership community where connection, coaching, teaching and most of all, YOU, matter. 

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