Photos: The ACA Bill of Rights. The photos are of my handwritten version, and you can find the pdf version on the ACA website. The second photo is my visual reminder to be clear on what is mine and what is not.

The problem with BE LOVE for recovering people pleasers.
Asking a recovering people pleaser and recovering over -functioner- to BE LOVE for other people is like asking an alcoholic to drink. An alcoholic uses alcohol to cope, but the people pleaser uses fawning, over-functioning, high achievement, and being pleasing to cope. We do this subconsciously to manipulate our experience of the world…and are rewarded for it in many ways. Many of us have lost out authentic selves in service of BE LOVE.

When a beloved recently shared with me the ACA Bill of Rights – It was all there so clearly – it struck me deeply as rights I would like to internalize and embody. Most of these rights I never gave myself – because people-pleasing worked for me from a very young age. Being the “good girl” worked for me. These were my unconscious coping skills.

These coping skills worked until they didn’t. The unbecoming and unlearning is a process. Becoming the sovereign and boundaried me is a process. I share because many of my clients and many of you are in the unbecoming of old patterns and finding your sovereignty and authentic SELF.

And the TRUEST way for recovering people pleasers to contribute love to the world, is to turn the LOVE inward – to all of our parts. This is a skill we need to develop and practice – insight is not enough.

I call this SELF-CENTERED (the exact thing many of us were told not to be). When I am centered in the love and SELF-leadership of all my parts, then my being contributes love to everyone in my orbit.

I hope this helps.
I know seeing it clearly spelled out helps me.

💛 Allison

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Hello Soul-Full business owners.

There are all kinds of business owners out there and as long as people are ethical, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the different kinds of business owners. I want to share an insight, especially for you heart centered business owners who also want to do well in your business.

Fall in love with your work again and that will solve all your marketing problems. 

When I focus on the work, my clients, sharing my heart & showing my work, learning my work, embodying my work. When that’s the focus, I am inspired to build my business and to make offerings and to help people.

When I focus on what energizes me according to my personal values it increases my income.

My business building focus check today is: Readjust your focus and your priorities.

Focus on the work and the joy will come

When I love my work, I do all the things I already know how to do to build a million dollar business.

There’s a whole new wave of people who build a business to be doing work they love and earning money and I just want you to check in about your values and priorities. Valuing money first is not a problem if that’s your true value, if money is important to you, but if the work is more important to you, focus on the work and it will motivate you to make the money.

My second:  Create an excitement list, a focus list. What do I want to focus?nbsp;

It is so easy to sell something that you are passionately in love with. 

It is so easy for all the marketing to come up when you are energized and made alive by the work that you love that you are in love with. 

I created a 2022 excitement list. What am I excited about?

I have created more for my business. I have gotten more accomplished behind the scenes and the front of scenes from this one list and do you know there is not a to-do on this. 

Please set your goals based on excitement and creativity and joy and not performance. 

What is  your priority Which one is your north star For me, my north star is the work that I love

Create from your joy, your love, your interests, your values, instead of from your needing to prove yourself.

Love,

Allison

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Become a member of Soulies Self-Leadership Society:
https://soulfullsuccess.live/purchase-life/

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1. No more muggling. You keep muggling – yet you are a wizard…with all the resourcefulness and skills of a Divine Magician…yet you MUGGLE. STOP. REMEMBER You are a POWERFUL AND ABLE mofo.

2. You are not here to fix other people…you aren’t going to stop the assholes from being assholes… But you can change your thinking….not just about assholes…but about anything and everything. Your thinking creates your experience of the world. Want a better experience….. create better thinking.

3. Yep. It’s gonna require hard work. Lots of it.

4. Slow the fuck down. Chill the fuck out. Seriously. Faster and with more grind doesn’t make it work better.

5. What would you do if you were confident Do that. Today. And then do it again, and again.

6. How much fun can you have solving this problem?

7. While we are talking about problems — please remember that you have the capacity to be a kickass problem solver. Or you could keep being mushy and whiny and pretend to be helpless….. you decide. Please choose the former.

8. Be willing to learn new things. Even if it takes time.

9. Own your shit. Stop blaming circumstances or people. Be what you want for your self. Be there for yourself. Be there for YOURSELF. BE your own giver, appreciator, lover, and validator. Study projection. And then recognize you are doing it. Then STOP projecting and start owning. It will set your shit free.

10. What would you do, what would you believe….if you really, deeply trusted yourself Show up that way. It’s effective. It’s sexy. It’s productive.

Love, Your Favorite Life Coach

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Podcasts are a delicious brain food. All day long you are filling your brain with info- by choice or not. Take some time to feed your brain good stuff. [bctt tweet=”All day long you are filling your brain with info- by choice or not.Take time to feed your brain good stuff.” username=”allicrow”]

• What are your favorite podcasts?
• I love MoxieCast by Mandy Lehto
• The Lively Show by Jess Lively
• The Life Coaching School podcast by @lifecoachschool and Brooke Castillo
• And of course my own – The Better Life Better Work Show.

What do you love to feed your brain with Comment below and let me know! Any good #podcast recommendations?!?!

I may have to get some cute pink Headphones ?

The post Feed Your Brain appeared first on Allison Crow.

Play the long game.
Do the work
Do the work more.
Don’t quit.
Take the time it takes…. And it takes time.
Practice.
Practice more.
Play.
Experiment.
Rest.
Work alongside awesome people.
Invest
Invest again.
And again.
And again.
Celebrate.
Fail. And celebrate that, too.
Dive in to the deep end completely.
Be responsible.
Give more than you take.
Give more.
Do the work.
Do the work more.
Don’t ask questions you can find the answer to on Google (thanks Varian Brandon​).
Research
Research more.
Test the research.
Give it time.
Take a break.
Dive back in.
Drink good coffee or tea.
Share your heart.
Show your work.
Be visible.
Learn in front of people.
Do more work.
Meditate.
Pray.
Give thanks.
Give more thanks.
Give appreciation.
Give acknowledgement.
Give back.
Save.
Spend.
Pay your taxes on time if you can.
Put the sledgehammer down and be kind to yourself.
But keep going.
Be committed.
Have fun along the way.
Laugh tons.
Believe.
And do the work.

.

The post A Recipe for Success – or How to Make it as a Coach. appeared first on Allison Crow.

Stop fishing with this wide net with prescribed copy disguised as a personal message. Stop giving me free shit that I don’t need. Do not try to entice me with your 6 figure promise when you have no clue what my biz numbers are, or what I’m really about. I’m happy to show my 6 figure p&l to you by the way…will you share yours with me I do not want or need your model or your system. It won’t work for me or really for anyone else. Well, I guess when you consider failure part of the path to success, then it will be helpful…but it will irritate the shit out of people who buy into the empty promises.

You know what they said….. they said:

You shouldn’t share your story of depression from the stage– it won’t help your business.”
They said, “You shouldn’t be so close to your clients…”
They said, “You shouldn’t cuss or use sexual innuendo…”
They said, “You should edit your emails and posts before you send them out to the world..typos are a sure turn off.”
They said, “Tone it down, straighten your hair, dress nice, and speak like a lady.”
They said, “Don’t color outside the lines, be so messy, or make jokes that everyone won’t get.”
They said, “Be loyal to me….not yourself.
They said, “Follow the model.
They said, “Get off facebook – you can’t make money there.”
They said, “Naps are for the lazy…you have to work 24/7.”
They said, “Don’t drink in front of clients and certainly don’t drink or socialize with them.”
They said, “Don’t be so available and accessable.”
They said, “You can’t NOT promise deliverables.”
They said, “You have to have a niche, KNOW your target client, blah blah blahblah….”
The expert told me I would NEVER have a corporate client who would want to work with such a childish brand.
They said, “Don’t be so woo woo – soften your language and cerntainly don’t say that you are psychic or that gays should marry or that you are liberal or that you may have smoked weed and skinny dipped with clients in the past.”
They said, “Choose just ONE thing and be really good otherwise you are a jack of all trades and a master at none.”

Ugh. 
I say Fuck that….

-the Universe pays me rather well for being me. The universe pays me for being authentic and sharing all of my story…depression, debt, shadow and the good stuff.
-The Universe pays me for being close with my clients.
-The Universe pays me for cussing and using sexual innuendo.
-The Universe even pays me for having typos in an email — One client told me I love that you don’t give a shit about that…that is why I called, precisely because you always have a typo.
-The Universe pays me to be my wild curly haired hippy dressed quirky self.
-The Universe pays me to color wildly outside the lines. The more of a mess, the better the masterpiece.
-The Universe pays me to be loyal to me…to care for my self. To be self- CENTERED. When my self is Centered EVERYONE I encounter is blessed to the max.
-The Universe pays me to make up and follow my feel good…the path that is the most fun and creative and satisfying along the way. The more feel good I have, and create, the more my clients are impacted and that impact spreads and love and success spread. How much fun can we have living this life, solving this problem, doing this work Try that approach. If the model feels good, follow it. If the model tightens your chest or your anus…Fuck the model.
-Dude…. 100% of my clients the past 4 years has come from FB. Yes I am there all the time. You are at the office. I am living my life and sharing most of it with facebook. Check my bank account.
-The Universe pays me for taking naps….and painting paintings.
-I have had drinks in front of and with clients and I do often become social friends with them. The Universe still has paid me. And we like it that way.
-The Universe pays me for being available and accessible..not just to my clients…but to life, to miracles, to energy, to wisdom, to lessons. The Universe pays me for being open.
-The Universe pays me for NOT promising deliverables…. the universe loves it when my clients take responsibility for the deliverables. Works every time.
-The Universe does not know or care what the fuck a niche is…. it works in hearts…not niches. I am a life coach, if you are alive, I can coach you. I may or may not want to…. we’d have to talk to see if it feels good for both of us.
-The expert told me I would NEVER have a corporate client who would want to work with such a childish brand. The expert was wrong before those words ever left his lips. My child-LIKE brand is just one of the filters for the kinds of hearts I work with. Corporate people want faries and magic and Spirit in their lives too. The Universe pays me for being child-like.
-The Universe pays me and celebrates me for being so woo woo, psychic, and for supporting gays marriage. The Universe gets a chuckle that I label myself liberal and really gets laughing that I may or may not have have smoked weed and skinny dipped with clients in the past.
-THe Universe made me a jack of many many many trades—not all of them. All I am to practice being a MASTER at…is connecting with spirit and being open. And getting in Alignment. Once there the rest is magic cake. I am still learning. The Universe is paying me to be STILL LEARNING to connect and stay open to Spirit.

I have NO IDEA what will make you successful. I have no IDEA what your version of success even is…unless I ask you and we have a good deep talk about it. Even then, I have no Idea of HOW it will happen for you.

I do know that BEING the MOST AUTHENTIC and joyful YOU you can be…. be YOU..share your gifts and light….. that that is what has worked for me. 6+ figures and all….

The last two (or 4 or 6) coaches I hired…. I hired not because the promised to deliver a 6 figure result…but because they seemed to really care about helping me be me.

Note: I am aware of a vibe of agitation vs the ‪#‎letlovewin‬ I often promote. I will let you know when I figure out what it looks like for me to ‪#‎letlove‬ win here vs ‪#‎ranting‬.

UPDATE: I must add this addendum:

This post shows the bravado and rebellion.

And the universe also pays me for being tender, kind, and loving.
The universe pays me for putting in hours and hours of work with thousands of clients over the years.
The universe pays me for purposely honing my skills as both a coach and a human being.
The universe pays me for listening.
The universe pays me for caring.
The universe pays me for giving permission to people to just follow their hearts.
The universe pays me for using my brains and heart and Google
The universe pays me to spend time with people.
The universe pays me to care and make people I don’t know, who don’t pay me, feel loved and seen and noticed.
The universe pays me to be an advocate for letting love win.
The universe pays me for being creative
The universe pays me for smiling
The universe pays me for giving to those who have less
The universe pay me for loving the Mary Ann’s and those who fly under the radar- the every day extraordinary who may never make the news of headlines.
The universe pays me for being nice.
The universe pays me for being another kind of mother to people (since I could never have kids).
The universe doesn’t just pay me for my rebellion and sass. It pays me for being sweet and loving too. It pays me for being all of me. For REALLY Caring

The post PSA for Coaches appeared first on Allison Crow.

DESIRE: When did we give it up…when did we allow it to get dusty and feel ashamed of what we desire. Ok I guess I could own that….when did I allow desire to get dusty What is it that we are inclined to feel guilty for desiring something for ourselves.

I’ve been noticing that. Releasing the shame when it shows up…and knowing that I am often deeply content. I am willing to be in the smack dab middle of the paradox of DESIRE and CONTENTMENT…. because I am born for BOTH! I am born for gratitude and contentment, and I am born for desire and creating!

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I painted a painting based on one of her quotes just 2 months ago:

In a strange way, Dr. Angelou’s death, healed a piece of me yesterday.  

I woke up in a funk about my middle age changing body.  Long story, and I am just not that skinny waif I was for about 35 years.  I am now taking up more space in the world, both energetically, and physically.  My wisdom and my belly are growing.  Never once, in admiring Maya Angelou, did I question her looks, or her weight.  I just saw her inner beauty.  And the light that she shone.  And I felt the impact of her poetry, and her speaking, and her being on my life.

And then, in my facebook feed, I saw this photo (and I’d love to give credit – so if this is your photo, please let me know so I can ask you for permission to post it and then credit you):

There she was, as a young woman, with a tall, skinny body – a body similar to the one I used to have.  Tiny waist, luscious booty, strong arms and shoulders.

And in that moment I released my need to BE WHAT WAS – and to just allow myself to become.

This isn’t even really about body, or weight.  It isn’t about looks.  But sometimes we need a FORM from which to learn these deeper lessons.  Beyond the form, is the essence and the energy.

So thank you, Maya, for yet another beautiful lesson of love.  I appreciate that in our loss of your physical being here,

you gave me one more blessing and lesson –

to remember to LOVE BECOMING. 

Here are some of my favorite quotes by the not only tall in stature, but also tall in spirit, Dr. Maya Angelou.

• “Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”
• My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
• “I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.” 
• “The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.”
• “My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.”
• “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”
• “If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”
• “Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.”

And of course the poem Phenomenal Woman

Maya Angelou

Thank you mother Maya, for all you have given us.

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