Inner Whisper Archives - Allison Crow

Tanya Markul Poem That Says So Much

allisoncrow — Fri, 14 Jul 2023 14:07:43 +0000

“When I realized my pain came from wanting to be liked, I began to love myself. When I realised my pain came from wanting to be acknowledged, I started to see who I really was…”

This poem by Tanya Markul is a beautiful expression of the work we do in IFS and IFS coaching. We learn to self-lead, to self-regulate, and what it means to truly self-love.

Many of us spend most of our lives attempting to regulate others. When our protectors are leading, we are masking and maneuvering to be liked and to belong – and there is NOTHING wrong with you – that’s actually innate biology. See how babies – with no vocabulary or logic are learning and responding at the attunement level to stay connected.

We learn to disconnect from ourselves and then live in those patterns subconsciously until we can learn and practice being the primary support and care we’ve always needed; PRACTICE IS KEY, and time on task so that our body’s muscle memory and the cells in our being get it.

We also can’t get rid of these protective parts, but that’s what we’re taught to do – control it away. What works and seems counter-intuitive is connection and the very attunement we were seeking as babies and children.

It is time to learn to SELF-regulate, to SELF-lead.

This is the awkward work my clients and I are doing. In the context of whatever life is handing them )biz, family, relationship, children) we are learning new ways of BEING WITH and leading these activated (an no longer working) parts.

If you would like to do this messy, awkward, both awesome, and hard as fuck work to really get to know and meet and trust all parts of you, I have 4 more spots on my roster. I’m primarily working with people in year-long agreements right now- to be on the journey long enough to build new practices through time on task.

What I’m noticing in me and in my clients is a greater sense of calm grounding, especially in formerly triggering situations. Less grasping out there and more confidence within, less tolerance for manipulations and bullshit, and more connectedness in general.

A client once asked, what does this do to be generative to my business (We’re often so used to torturous productivity and sales stuff being fed to us). My business clients KNOW what works to generate tactically. What’s getting in the way isn’t business and marketing skills – it’s the “inner management team and their distractions, doubts, and procrastinations that block creativity and courage. I can help with that.

Big love for you and all parts of you.

Your favorite life coach,

Allison

(pink flower or pink heart on any of my posts represents – be soft with the hard).

This poem is by Tanya Markul from The She Book.

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Personal development and coaching can be so fuckeryish.

allisoncrow — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 14:45:12 +0000

Personal development and coaching can be so fuckeryish. Here’s my example this morning:

I start to journal… “what if XYZ was possible… “

and then I get smacked in the head with,

“but love what is.”

Well, which is it Love what is or have the courage to change what is?

Our thinking parts and shoulds and try so hard to get it right parts battling it out.

That’s always a good sign to drop deeper into your belly and heart and listen.

Call for your true SELF to come forward and whisper inner truth to you – instead of taking on the mandate of the gurus and leaders and coachy-coachy and anything outside of you.

Those tools and rules aren’t bad – in fact, you have a Mary Poppins bag of resources, but in any giv

en moment, seek your inner wisdom for guidance on what tools, if any to use.

Today, my inner knowing says, “Toss the intellect – education, podcasts, and learning and be with the flowers and birds, make art and poetry, and practice smiling.”

What does your inner knowing whisper to you?

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Trust Your Practices and Process over the Man Made Dates

allisoncrow — Thu, 19 Jan 2023 20:19:54 +0000

I can trust practices and processes. When I try to shove them into a calendar or deadline – the processes and practices get detoured by “I’m doing it wrong.”

I have nurturing practices -that I KNOW bring me to clarity, confidence, and action.
I have internal processes that I KNOW work for my business.

And yet, because I’m human and live in society – I, at times, can get hooked into the “what’s normal” current. I call this FORGETTING.

Wouldn’t it be so fun if we all had the clarity and plan we wanted to have on Jan 1 – according to and along with the “New Year” date?

When I REMEMBER, I stand in the knowing and sovereignty of my own proven practices and processes.

When I REMEMBER, I fully trust my processes and practices and my own internal rhythms (and they RARELY fit with man-made seasons or dates).

This is your reminder that your own process is trustworthy – even if it doesn’t seem to “fit” what the world says.

Peace to you and to me and to us all as we practice what works for us.

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Fuck the Coaching Industry

allisoncrow — Wed, 14 Dec 2022 15:52:53 +0000

My mind was so full of inspiration this morning. She wanted to go in about 17 different directions, listen to two different podcasts and one audiobook, and write 27 things for you.

Happy Mind, full of intention, running a bit fast.

Slow down, Allison. Connect first.

And I listened within and spent the first 30 minutes of my writing practice looking through my 2022 journal.

There’s some GOLD in that journal. My own wisdom is the best medicine (and sometimes funny as fuck) when I’m on an insight bender trying to source outside and over-do.

More to come – but remember this truth as you consider who you are going to partner with in 2023.

I got had in 2022. Hook, line, and sinker fell for it and paid big for it. The best lesson is, remember allison, remember who the fuck you are.

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Pick Your Creative Practice Back Up

allisoncrow — Mon, 17 Oct 2022 15:08:04 +0000

For some reason, I had a block in my head that made me believe my “intuitive painting” and “expressive arts” were only done with acrylic or tempura paints.

I don’t know what fucking planet I was on, but – this glorious practice can be done in ANY medium. If I wanted to do expressive arts and intuitive painting, I could do it with cedar mulch and nuts and bolts if that’s what I had available.

Special thanks to Donna Fromm whose art in my feed planted a seed that helped me rememBEr.

This is your invitation to pick back up your creative practice- whatever it is, no matter how long it has been.

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Connect with your SELF

allisoncrow — Sun, 13 Mar 2022 19:49:41 +0000

Self Connection: Take a moment to pause and connect in your body, your heart….your breath, and listen for YOUR truth.

We are taught to demonize and pathologize any “resistance, “block,” or difficult emotion – these are NOT problems to solve..they are opportunities for SELF-connection.

Almost EVERYTHING you have ever been taught or sold or experienced – taught you to defer your self-connection to acceptance by others and belonging, perceived emotional safety, or to give up your power.

Some of my clients are at the top of their fields and industry… and even at the top – is severe disconnection – and all the behaviors that come with that disconnection.

Imagine, for a moment, you moved so self-connected and self-trusting in the world…. what would be light What would be easy What would be profitable How would your relationships be What would the impact be on the people in your world without having to say a word?

This is the work I do. It’s for the brave and willing. The ones who are done pretzeling for everything outside of them.

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Deep Inner-Work – Both/AND

allisoncrow — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 15:13:02 +0000

If you are doing deep inner work, transformational work- I see you and honor you and GET that it’s a scribbly-rollercoaster ride of ups-down-all-around. I get that it can be heavy being with some of these parts. Today I want to remind you that both the messy transformation and your powerful remembering can exist at the same time.

You can process and touch old stored sadness, and touch the power of your light and wholeness in the same breath.

It takes courage to go within… and for that be tender and gentle. And remember that SELF energy also entails bright clarity, powerful courage, confidence, and divine creativity.

Practice being present with the BOTH/AND.

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Drop Below Your Head to Inner Authority

allisoncrow — Wed, 20 Oct 2021 15:21:33 +0000

Inner Authority: hello fellow recovering people pleasers.

Hello, over-functioning and over-empathic leaders.

All these things work until they don’t… and now here you are realizing so much of what made you successful was behavioral patterns born out of childhood trauma, emotional neglect…. And the entire effing world and systems and media and religion and school and everything that conditioned you to give your authority away!!!

Did I mention religion You know, the kind that, in 3rd grade, threatened to leave you behind if you didn’t fall in line….

And so even though you are successful, maybe you find yourself doing the next course, or high-end mastermind, or upgrading your branding or whatever the thing is you think will get you to that nebulous “there.”

Even after all the success and stability- you still get flooded with doubt, overbook your calendar out of obligation, neglect the things that nourish you even though you thrive better if you do them…. And then you spiral into shame because you “aren’t doing it right.”

well, here we’re are. And you are totally doing it right.

But don’t take it on my authority….

Slow down and check deep down in your own body, your own heart, in the place deeper and truer than all the voices….

What does that part of you say Remember who you BE. And that you are the decider. You CAN trust yourself to BE YOU, do things your way, slow down…. Build certainty in your own authority.

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You are a Gardener Not a Machine

allisoncrow — Thu, 22 Jul 2021 15:58:22 +0000

Oh, how the world wants to press us into the idea that we can behave and perform like a machine in life and business. You, my DEAR… and you are a dear one. You are a gardener, not a machine.

This is your reminder to cultivate, to piddle, to work with the seasons and weather you encounter. This is your reminder that sometimes the beauty is slow, and other times it is fast.

If I could encourage you to plant the seeds if anything in your garden – it would be #selftrust. It would be #personalpower from within.

The IFS qualities of SELF are the best fertilizer:
Calmness
Curiosity
Compassion
Connectedness
Confidence
Creativity
Courage
Clarity

What are you cultivating???
??????????

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Qualities of SELF – Internal Family Systems

allisoncrow — Tue, 13 Jul 2021 21:32:09 +0000

When I began studying SELF-Leadership and SELF-Trust even more intently, I had no idea what #internalfamilysystems was. And yet… right there…. SELF.

This work has brought me to, and can bring you to, a deeper meeting of your SELF and all your parts….

Parts are all these thinking and feeling and managing and protecting aspects of us. Many of whom are certainly helpful, some who are distracting, and some who have been exiled into the most guarded parts of yourselves.

The inward journey…. You are worthy of your own compassion, calmness, and curiosity.

What could shift…. If you could melt into your own Loving SELF?

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