Boundaries Archives - Allison Crow

Procrastination or Parts: The Mind Fu&k of Starting Again

Elyse Rich — Sun, 11 Feb 2024 21:21:38 +0000

Yikes – Is it Procrastination or Parts- I’m jumping back into making podcast episodes for you!

I’m just going to allow myself to be imperfect in getting back into the routine

I love creating content for y’all
I’ve always loved creating content for y’all
and I’ve had some procrastination parts come up lately

I had all these plans and was taking no action – Highly unusual for me.

After a couple of weeks of this procrastination, I sat down to do my parts work practices as I normally do, and my shoulders were aching
and I decided to see if it was a part.

I slowed down and connected with myself and my body.
Hello, shoulders. I see you.
Hello, tightness, stiffness and pain. I see you

What is it you want me to know?nbsp;

Enjoy this episode and a few of the deeper things I’ve learned from this thing called life over the last few months.

Love,

Allison

Prefer Video Watch this episode on my YouTube Channel here:

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Resources:

Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

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You Think Too Much

allisoncrow — Tue, 14 Mar 2023 15:59:31 +0000

No shit. I am 1000000% aware of this. And I’m done being ashamed of my overthinking parts. Before I get to making my list of the things I adore and love about “thinking too much,” – let me tell anyone who considers saying this to someone- anyone who overthinks is already keenly aware- we know, and this kind of comment is not helpful. It’s dismissive and rude.

Ok.

My overthinking parts are awesome. I love them. Let me count just some of the ways:

1. They make me shit loads of money by helping people solve problems.

2. duh, I am a professional and personal philosopher and psychologist. I literally study thoughts and ideas and mind.

3. I am an artist and poet and writer, and author- because I think too much.

4. My thinking parts CARE and Feel deeply. I don’t wanna live in a world where I lose my compassion for others – and to do that I need to think about lots of things.

5. The ways to stop my thinking parts include excessive drinking or xanex. Don’t wanna suppress them and so I’ve learned to BE with them. While chatty they are benevolent friends. And yes. Meditation with them is noisy and I’m ok with that. I’m rarely lonely because of my thinking parts.

6. My thinking parts are simply craving things almost every human craves. Connection. Belonging. Significance. They just use words and language and ideas. – which I find fucking fascinating.

7. Anything I have created and cultivated in my life that is good came from and idea and a thought. It didn’t manifest out of my vagina because I clinched a yoni egg in there and prayed. I created it with my mind bound in the universe. Yes I may have had excessive thoughts – sometimes I wrestle and sometimes I stress, but I also experience bliss and bless- I create excessively and I LOVE this about me.

Why on earth would I want to let it all go?

If I’m too much- go find less.

, Allison

PS: I love how people are always telling me to NOT be XYZ – often something that is acutely part of my ADHD and neurodivergence. Thanks for the ableism, yall. My DX helps me stand in my true self without it being wrong.

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The Problem with “BE LOVE” for Recovering People Pleasers

allisoncrow — Wed, 08 Feb 2023 15:54:22 +0000

The Problem with “BE LOVE” for Recovering People Pleasers

Photos: The ACA Bill of Rights. The photos are of my handwritten version, and you can find the pdf version on the ACA website. The second photo is my visual reminder to be clear on what is mine and what is not.

The problem with BE LOVE for recovering people pleasers.
Asking a recovering people pleaser and recovering over -functioner- to BE LOVE for other people is like asking an alcoholic to drink. An alcoholic uses alcohol to cope, but the people pleaser uses fawning, over-functioning, high achievement, and being pleasing to cope. We do this subconsciously to manipulate our experience of the world…and are rewarded for it in many ways. Many of us have lost out authentic selves in service of BE LOVE.

When a beloved recently shared with me the ACA Bill of Rights – It was all there so clearly – it struck me deeply as rights I would like to internalize and embody. Most of these rights I never gave myself – because people-pleasing worked for me from a very young age. Being the “good girl” worked for me. These were my unconscious coping skills.

These coping skills worked until they didn’t. The unbecoming and unlearning is a process. Becoming the sovereign and boundaried me is a process. I share because many of my clients and many of you are in the unbecoming of old patterns and finding your sovereignty and authentic SELF.

And the TRUEST way for recovering people pleasers to contribute love to the world, is to turn the LOVE inward – to all of our parts. This is a skill we need to develop and practice – insight is not enough.

I call this SELF-CENTERED (the exact thing many of us were told not to be). When I am centered in the love and SELF-leadership of all my parts, then my being contributes love to everyone in my orbit.

I hope this helps.
I know seeing it clearly spelled out helps me.

💛 Allison

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