Authentic Leadership Archives - Allison Crow

Attractor vs Enroller: A Distinction for Us Both

allisoncrow — Sun, 25 Aug 2024 17:04:42 +0000

A distinction for your consideration: Attractor vs. Enroller

Yesterday was a bingo ball day where all my ideas just bounced around in the bingo ball hopper – none fully

dropped into the final chute. I looked through some recent journals to slow down and connect with my own wisdom.

I came across a note to myself that reminded me, in my coaching practice, I am an

ATTRACTOR

not an

ENROLLER

It was just the SELF-TRUST reminder I needed.

ENROLLER is the formula for what many of us are taught to do in sales—to get people to go through a sales funnel that leads to a sales consultation, where the goal is to “convert” the prospect to a client. Then, handle and overcome objections and close the sale.

This can be effective for many salespeople, but it is also what feels disingenuous and smarmy to others.

ATTRACTOR is a way of being and marketing that feels more natural to me and encourages responsibility and self-trust in potential clients. Yes, I have expert skills, AND the client’s concerns and objections are considered and valid. A right fit is more important than “closing the sale.”

It is often unclear what I do or offer professionally, and I’m sure I leave money on the table. I know this is not the best sales practice (I taught sales for YEARS).

I am quirky and strange, and when potential clients call, if they are with someone who doesn’t know me, isn’t familiar with me, or hasn’t seen or heard me speak or teach, it is always AWKWARD. Even referrals from beloved clients can be strange – not because of the other person but because of me. I’m weird. And I’m incredibly nervous, and my “sense of being perceived” rises when I’m around new people.

Last year, I had a series of “cold discovery calls” that I think came through tiktok, which was so awkward. I was awkward.

Coaching is not a mechanical process for me—it’s a relational process, and I’m weird at the beginning of relationships, even if I don’t want to be. Hello AUDHD.

I can now see it’s a bottom-up process, and I desire that both ways. I’m probably not your best fit if you are a top-down linear thinker.

Most, not all, of the people I work well with have known and “followed” me for years. Sometimes ten or more years – The quiet watchers routinely come out when THEY are ready and say, “I want to work with you.” They are the ones that end up in transformative years or more long engagements – doing deep inner and outer work. By the time they go to my coaching page and request a connection and discovery session – they know they want to work with me in the direction of their dreams and well-being.

I know I’m not super direct, and, when you are ready, I’m here, and we can talk and create a custom program for you.

I shared this because this week, I was able to help a client see that they are more of a Gardner in their business, too, not a machine. What I call “capitalism brain” is a subconscious influence that always pushing the machine. But there IS a place for those of us who are gardeners to cultivate in our lives and work.

Maybe you need to be reminded that you are a gardener, and you can do what you do. You can keep sharing your heart, showing your work, and making warm invitations, and the right clients will bloom at the right time.

Enroller or attractor – one is not better than the other, but one is more authentic to me and more congruent with my system and my way of being and creating in the world.

Remember who YOU are, and go do your thing!

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Do your Leaders Invite You to Self Trust Like Rick Rubin (And Me)

allisoncrow — Thu, 22 Aug 2024 14:35:00 +0000

SELF- Trust:

As a coach- my clients often hear me say:

You can accept, modify, or reject

I’ll lay this idea/suggestion on the table, and you can pick it up or leave it there.

I am not the boss of you. I believe in you. I have some really good ideas and connection and protection strategies to share – but you are the ultimate authority on you.

My friend Justin mentioned this book by Rick Rubin recently- and I’ve been mainly listening – but this morning, I opened the hardback- and loved this invocation for the reader to use what is helpful and let go of the rest.

This post has an affiliate link.

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Healing & Finding Hope After the Hard: Colette Nies Von Hanna, Socio-Ecological Feminist Theologian

Elyse Rich — Mon, 12 Aug 2024 13:36:40 +0000

Healing and Hope after Hard Journies with Colette Nies Von Hanna

Navigating Life’s Challenges: A Conversation with Colette Nies Von Hanna

Join me for a conversation with long-time family friend Colette Nies Von Hanna, who shares her journey and insights on being human. Colette, an organic gardener, socio-ecological feminist theologian, and energy researcher from New Braunfels, Texas, discusses the interconnection of ecological trauma and personal experiences. She reflects on her career shifts, including a political run, her academic pursuits, and community gardening efforts involving personal, professional, and spiritual growth. Colette shares her struggle with cancel culture, dealing with political and personal attacks, and the importance of self-awareness in activism and community involvement. She emphasizes the importance of resilience, authenticity, and vision despite facing extreme adversity and the challenges of social expectations.

Colette Nies Von Hanna, MSSW, MDIV

Activist, Socio-Ecological Feminist Theologian, Energy Researcher, Social Worker, Chaplain, 3rd Gen Organic Gardener, Aspiring Urban Farmer, Adoptive Mom, River-Goer, Rabble-Rouser, Bleeding Heart, who loves strong coffee and long naps.

The quote mentioned from my friend Justin’s LinkedIn page:

“To the people who are emotionally sensitive, who care so much about everything no matter how hard they try not to, who notice even the smallest things and take everything to the heart, the struggle is valid. I hope you get surrounded with people who are kind enough to understand you and even if you can’t expect everyone to adjust for you, I hope you get extra patience from this world.”

— Kylie Yzobelle

Key Topics and Timestamps

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

01:08 Colette’s Background and Work

03:48 Personal and Professional Challenges

07:02 Running for Office and Facing Adversity

09:27 Navigating Political, Academic, and Spiritual Struggles

13:01 Reflections on Pain, Privilege, and Growth

25:14 Systemic Issues and Personal Resilience

29:46 The Weight of Awareness

30:38 Embracing Sadness and Hope

32:14 Understanding Bypassing

33:25 Facing Trauma and Healing

36:21 The Journey from Head to Heart

37:35 Learning to Feel and Express Emotions

48:13 Building a SELF-Centered Legacy

* Visit: Website: /

* Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison /coachingwallison/

* Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview /ifs/

* Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

/unarmoredthebook/

https://www.tiktok.com/@allison_crow

https://www.instagram.com/allison_crow/

https://www.facebook.com/wildesgesofbeinghuman

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UNLEARNING (In my journal)

allisoncrow — Wed, 07 Aug 2024 17:11:36 +0000

Today is one of those days when all the dots connect, and I can see how the past has led me to now. My now is ordinary; there is no monumental milestone or achievement. There is nothing to brag about, nothing you will admire as fabulous.

Unlearning isn’t a popular or particularly pleasing journey. It’s often heavy and certainly not inspirational low-hanging fruit to sell in a coaching program. “I can help you make more money.”

If I were really brave, I would share more of my unlearning with you out loud, but I am still sensitive to what you think about me.

Still.

Most of all, if I weren’t afraid of being so “negative.” There’s some programming and “not truth.”

Do you think nature says, “I shouldn’t be so negative#8221; or even God? Buahahahah. Nope.

We can not escape life’s difficulties even if we do everything we can to escape them. But we can learn to access our own SELFSOUL to be with ourselves and others in the difficulties (and the delights).

Unlearning IS a valid path to SELFSOUL trust. I added SOUL because the SELF-TRUST I am teaching in my work, and living in my life is trust in the INFINITE SOUL within you. The GOD inside of you that you are.

It was always calling, even from way back in 3rd grade, when at HP Elementary, I was compelled to say a prayer in chapel because I was tired of hearing the shame, fire, and brimstone messages about avoiding hell. My little 3rd-grade SOUL knew back then that it was CONNECTION and relationship, not control. And here we are at 52—seeing it all led me to this ordinary moment—where it is more than a theory; it just is.

Alli, you asked for a SOUL-full life for many years, and you’ve been living it all along and are living it here in this moment. You found it by not trying to escape your humanity but by exploring it all the way to the wild edges.

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Lessons Learned from Gabor Mate & Compassionate Inquiry

Elyse Rich — Sun, 30 Jun 2024 14:55:10 +0000

Welcome back! In today’s episode, I delve into lessons I’ve learned from one of my favorite teachers and approaches ~ Gabor Maté and Compassionate Inquiry.

I explore his method as a facilitator, the importance of gaining consent, his views on addiction as attempts to solve suffering, and authenticity versus attachment. Reflecting on his teachings, I discuss the impact of the “still-face experiment” and how connection to self is crucial in our healing journeys. I’ll also share insights on over-functioning as a coping mechanism and Gabor’s perspective on thriving in a sick world. Join me as we reconnect with ourselves and each other.

00:00 Introduction to Gabor Maté and Compassionate Inquiry

00:45 Facilitation Techniques and Interruptions

02:37 The Role of Consent in Facilitation

03:07 Understanding Addiction and Suffering

06:56 The Still Face Experiment

10:23 Authenticity vs. Attachment

18:01 Overfunctioning and Coping Mechanisms

20:46 The Impact of a Sick World on Emotional Health

22:45 Present Moment Awareness and Self-Connection

The Still Face Experiment: https://youtu.be/YTTSXc6sARg?si=9a1-oDJfE69BESL-

Gabor Maté Website: https://drgabormate.com/

The Myth Of Normal: https://amzn.to/3zoVdmc

Compassionate Inquiry: https://compassionateinquiry.com/

* Visit: Website: /

* Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison /coachingwallison/

* Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview /ifs/

* Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

/unarmoredthebook/

https://www.tiktok.com/@allison_crow

https://www.instagram.com/allison_crow/

https://www.facebook.com/wildesgesofbeinghuman

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Unveiling the Invisible Outside and Inside: Understanding Systems and Coping Mechanisms

allisoncrow — Mon, 22 Apr 2024 17:48:32 +0000

In the intricate tapestry of our lives, there exists a phenomenon often overlooked but profoundly influential – invisible systems. Like silent puppeteers, these systems shape our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions without us even realizing their presence. And without even realizing it, we develop coping mechanisms to survive within the pressures of these systems.

The Existence of Invisible Systems

Did you know that invisible systems abound in our world From the moment of our birth, we are enmeshed in a web of unseen structures that dictate how we navigate our reality. Until we become aware of these systems, we are bound to respond with our own set of coping mechanisms – mechanisms designed to forge connections and avert rejection and disconnection. At first, these coping mechanisms work, and eventually, they begin to be more of a problem when one realized their authenticity has been left behind.

The Desire for Connection and Authenticity

At the core of our beings lies a deep-seated yearning to be loved and accepted. This innate desire drives us to seek authenticity, to be true to ourselves in a world governed by various invisible systems such as patriarchy, capitalism, familial structures, educational paradigms, and workplace dynamics. It starts young, even before you can speak.

Navigating the Invisible

It may not be immediately apparent, but these invisible systems wield significant influence over our lives. One key to reclaiming autonomy and authenticity is to unravel the intricacies of these systems. Once we start to recognize them, we cannot turn a blind eye. We are faced with a choice – to succumb to anger or to harness our understanding for growth.

Embracing Internal Family Systems

In our journey towards self-discovery and empowerment, one powerful modality emerges – Internal Family Systems. By delving into the complexities of our internal landscape, we uncover the facets of our sacred SELF and her wisdom for leading us from the inside out. This work helps us see our unconscious coping mechanisms, our benevolent wounded parts, and the protectors within. Through befriending these inner parts, we liberate ourselves from the hooks that tether us and learn to lead with authenticity.

Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison /coachingwallison

Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview: /ifs/

Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human /unarmoredthebook

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Punching People In The Face

allisoncrow — Sun, 21 Apr 2024 15:35:40 +0000

The more I meet myself (and my parts), the less I want to punch other people in the face.

Most of us are conditioned to despise, fear, and suppress “negative emotions.” I don’t believe that any emotions are negative. I believe they have wisdom and information for us. I believe there are cognitive and body skills we can learn to understand and lead our emotions instead of them leading us.

There will be no more erupting and no more pressing down (depression). Emotional self-leadership and the language of emotions can be learned and practiced.

Most people are taught that emotions don’t belong at work. Mental health, anxiety, & stress much What if these parts could be softened and compassionately led into relaxing & sharing their wisdom, leading to calm and creative confidence and courage?

This is the advanced personal development I do with business owners, executives, and leaders . If you would like to explore coaching, find out more here: /coachingwallison/

I also wrote about this in my book #Unarmored –Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

#lifecoachingforentrepreneurs #ifscoaching #leadershipdevelopment #leadershipcoaching

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Insights From Re-Blooming My Business

Elyse Rich — Mon, 11 Mar 2024 14:43:09 +0000

Allison shares her personal journey of reinventing herself and her business,
discussing her struggles, coping mechanisms, and the need for genuine connections.

She emphasizes the importance of understanding one’s needs and cycles, challenging toxic individualism,
and finding what works authentically for oneself in business and life.

Key Topics and Timestamps

00:00 Welcome to the Live Session: Embracing Spring and Personal Insights

00:45 Journey Through Deep Self-Care and Spiritual Awakening

02:51 Understanding Coping Mechanisms and Embracing Humaness

04:34 The Transformation: From Personal Struggles to Spiritual Reintegration

07:57 Rebuilding Business and Personal Growth Amidst Challenges

12:02 Embracing Prosperity and Connection: A New Approach to Business

18:35 Breaking Free from Conventional Rules: Authentic Content Creation

20:39 Navigating the Achievement Phase: Letting Go of Old Paradigms

22:09 The One-to-Many Model and Its Limitations

23:54 Unlocking the Power of Personal Reinvention

24:37 Navigating Business with Personalized Strategies

26:20 Embracing Individuality in Business and Life

30:13 Challenging Societal Norms and Personal Development Myths

36:17 Understanding Variance and Supporting Personal Ebbs and Flows

42:14 Rebloom: Embracing Sovereignty and Spring Renewal

Mentioned In The Episode:

The Post about Poker and Variation from my colleague, Mike Harris

The Self-Lead Humans in Business Facebook Group

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
Internal Family Systems coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post Insights From Re-Blooming My Business appeared first on Allison Crow.

EASE From The Inside Out

Elyse Rich — Thu, 22 Feb 2024 15:15:07 +0000

It’s Road Riff time – Ease from the Inside Out.

I’ve had some really interesting, unusual resistance around content creation
and I didn’t have an “episode,” but I did have a drive into town

Stream of Consciousness with a Purpose and More at Ease

I want to be more at ease this year from the inside
It’s one of the core goals of how and who I want to be

This riff is inspired by Gabor Mate, Authenticity & Internal Family Systems

Love,

Allison

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
Internal Family Systems coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post EASE From The Inside Out appeared first on Allison Crow.

Procrastination or Parts: The Mind Fu&k of Starting Again

Elyse Rich — Sun, 11 Feb 2024 21:21:38 +0000

Yikes – Is it Procrastination or Parts- I’m jumping back into making podcast episodes for you!

I’m just going to allow myself to be imperfect in getting back into the routine

I love creating content for y’all
I’ve always loved creating content for y’all
and I’ve had some procrastination parts come up lately

I had all these plans and was taking no action – Highly unusual for me.

After a couple of weeks of this procrastination, I sat down to do my parts work practices as I normally do, and my shoulders were aching
and I decided to see if it was a part.

I slowed down and connected with myself and my body.
Hello, shoulders. I see you.
Hello, tightness, stiffness and pain. I see you

What is it you want me to know?nbsp;

Enjoy this episode and a few of the deeper things I’ve learned from this thing called life over the last few months.

Love,

Allison

Prefer Video Watch this episode on my YouTube Channel here:

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post Procrastination or Parts: The Mind Fu&k of Starting Again appeared first on Allison Crow.